Hi, I’m Jo Englesson, founder of TOFA & Gratitude Training LLC. It is
important to us that each of you, who visit here or
choose to join us on our journey of living in a state of Gratitude, have
a picture of where we came from and how my experiences along with our
collective experience may reflect similarities to your own.
It is an interesting conundrum that we all have a unique journey that
causes us to frequently feel alone or separate, yet, in reality we are
all on the same journey through life. Our circumstances may vary, the
topography may differ but life gives each one of us the opportunity to
choose how we react to our circumstances in every moment. It has been
said many times in many ways:
"An obstacle is just an opportunity seen from a different perspective."
The history of TOFA and its foundation arose from my personal journey
so I’ll begin there. Thank you for being here and reading our story.
We hope this brief history may shift your perspective a few degrees or
that the possibility of joining our joyful adventure may call to you.
I was raised in Sweden, in a prosperous family in a prosperous
country at a time of material abundance. Like many of you, I grew up
into the expectations my family held for me, at the same time rebelling
against their concepts of who I SHOULD be and WHERE I should fit.
Material success and professional accomplishment were expected. It was
the expectation of family and others that drove me. Approval from
people important in my life was my prime motivation. I had the
education to support those expectations and had examples of success. On
the material plane my life was fine, in fact excellent by many measures.
As an adult, I ran about as far away from Sweden and its cold winters
and family expectations as I could get. I found myself on the beach in
southern California, a Swedish blond in Los Angeles in the computer
business. I embraced the crazy, frenetic California lifestyle that the
world knows from movies and TV with all it implies, and I transferred my
living to meet the expectations of a new group of friends. Not my
family this time, not even the same expectations but nevertheless
gaining my sense of self from the approval of others, not
self-fulfillment or moving toward whom I longed to be.
My personal journey brought me to Southern Florida. If you see an
underlying theme here, you are right. Anyone who has been to Stockholm
in the winter will understand. Here I was in 2007, experienced in many
ways; marketable skills, success, friends, personal relationships –
continuing to fill expectations not my own. I enjoyed friends but
always wondered what was next.
"There was nothing wrong: I experienced the usual daily human
drama with people in my life, nothing serious, but there was an
underlying gnawing sense that I wasn’t on my own path."
My success and professional experience had been great and educational
but somehow not quite coming together in a way that supported ME. My
love relationships were hot then cold. The melody was there but
slightly off key. A close friend finally asked me to go to a
transformational training in Ft. Lauderdale in 2007, she said “I needed
it”. I went the first day - hopeful, not skeptical or cynical, but
definitely with no expectations.
The class began. I have always been the kind of person to really “go
for it” but had always seemed to never adequately complete whatever
“it” was for me. We have all heard that “you only can get out what
you’re willing to put in” to any sort of learning or teachable moment.
After the first day I quite literally threw myself into every activity.
I “got into it” as I heard a call to a possibility to live for my
higher self. I saw the possibility to create something not only for
myself but for other people.
I have to edit myself here. I don’t want to imply I changed
instantaneously, like some sort of cartoon with a light bulb over my
head. I was still me. Self absorbed, rushed, too much to do, frequently
oblivious to those around me unless I was overly concerned about what
they thought of me - but aware that I was becoming aware.
The autobiography of Jo Englesson up to this point has intended to
set the stage for you to grasp the enormity of my personal
reorientation. Everything up to this point in our history is prologue.
The Don Warms story:
I was in the third part of a three part series of classes and was
feeling a little raw and confused but still very much myself. I was
rushing through a Florida airport in June 2007, intent on my mission,
self absorbed, being me; the whole airport just a prop for my own
personal psychodrama. BAM! An unexpected, unnoticed obstacle in the way
of my, oh so important personal airport sprint: I had run headlong into
an 80-year old man nearly bowling him over. Don Warms is a sweat, lovely
gentleman who had recently lost his wife of many years, I later
learned. I was oblivious, unconscious and could have done him real
harm. He could have been angry, he could have been accusatory but
instead he was pure LOVE. He was light and smiling. With a laugh he
said I must have been in a real hurry and to be careful. He walked away
with his VFW hat perched on his head, having expressed nothing but
encouragement, love and support. It brought me up short. I wanted
something to give him to say thank you. I had nothing. This unsung hero
in a mundane incident was the interruption that broke the shell of the
larval cocoon of my self-involvement. There was nothing I had to give
to express my appreciation. That was the moment the idea of TOFA came
to me. That was the moment I realized how many unsung, unacknowledged
heroes exist in all our lives. They are there every day. We mostly
don’t notice. Most of us have no “practice” of giving, no ready
expression of heartfelt appreciation, no way to express our Gratitude
for what I now call a “TOFA Moment”.
I have discovered that when I become aware, all the pieces I need to
accomplish what I desire are already in place. I had the business and
computer skills to create an online, trackable Token of Appreciation.
Computers and the Internet would allow anyone to follow “their” TOFA as
the ripples of appreciation would spread. I began immediately to design
the tokens, found a mint where they could be produced and began the
development of the website to track them. I was committed to a new
path. For the first time in my life I was committed to follow through
and complete. My path, my expectations, my future - all my own. One
year to the day from our airport collision, I presented Don Warms with
the first TOFA token - Number 1, expressing my gratitude to him for not
only making a difference in my day but in my life.
A new group of friends who were similarly on a quest for their own
personal fulfillment supported me during the next somewhat lunatic
quest. I declared what I called “The Giving Year”. I committed to give
a TOFA token every day to someone, to tangibly acknowledge the
difference they had made in my life. Skills previously learned allowed
me to film, edit and post each of these “Giving Moments” on YouTube.
The filming, posting and commitment to doing this every day for a year
began partly as a goal for myself and partly a personal challenge to
follow through and complete something important. What I now realize is
noticing these moments and learning to spontaneously celebrate
appreciation and gratitude and express that joy by presenting a TOFA
Token was PRACTICE. We all know that to become accomplished at anything
takes practice. What I did not realize when the “Giving Year” began
was how difficult that would be on some days. I did not understand how
practicing each day to notice those moments and responding would further
change my life.
By the end of 2008 I was engaged with TOFA as well as staffing
personal development training classes in Florida and New York. I had
become very good friends with one of the Icons of Transformational
Training and for 6 months moved to Las Vegas to learn more from her.
Immersed in the computer world for so long I realized while there is
an international groundswell in the idea of recognizing and having
gratitude and the importance of “paying it forward” there was not a
central clearing house for those looking to find ways, organizations,
practitioners, trainers, etc. I conceived the Gratitude Directory as
such a place. Again all the skills and contacts were already in place
to launch www.GratitudeDirectory.com, an online resource to find gratitude businesses, products, articles and events.
Talking with new friends we conceived a celebration of Gratitude at
the end of 2009. We held our first Festival in Fort Lauderdale on
January 10th, 2010. Imagine a group gathered to celebrate Gratitude
without knowing what to expect or even what that meant. We had a lineup
of passionately committed entertainers, artists and life coaches all
there to have fun and personally express Gratitude in their own way.
The music, energy, enthusiasm and joy were infectious. People brought
friends with no prior knowledge or expectation who left smiling, some
with goofy grins, unexpectedly affected by the energy generated. In
support of more Festivals and the community created, we have started www.GratitudeFestival.com and www.GratitudeProducts.com.
The basis for many of these activities is many of us doing some sort
of what is euphemistically called “personal development work” or
“transformational training”. We realized the ideas and concepts are
ancient. Around 3500 BC the Mesopotamians began to record observations
numerically. Seers, prophets and wise men have arisen throughout human
history with strangely similar ideas regarding harmony, seizing each
moment, noticing and honoring those around us. Yet we humans seem to be
forgetful. Training is an essential reminder. Methods, perceptions
and possibilities have been enhanced by the Internet and by social
networks. People connect in new ways and configurations. We decided to
mix modern technology, existing training practices and ancient wisdom to
produce Gratitude Training, www.GratitudeTraining.com,
a 9-day intensive workshop that will help us identify what holds us
back in our life and then move us closer to our dreams and goals,
similar to the training I took in 2007. As a follow up to Part 1 and 2
of the Gratitude Training we also offer a 90-day leadership program
called Masterful Living. In this program the participants work together
as a team to make a difference in their own lives and in the world as a
whole. The computer, the Internet and social media allow connection
and action in a way never before possible in human history. Gratitude Training LLC and
the Gratitude Community will continue to use all these tools to stay
connected and enlarge our circle of Gratitude and Giving. In an effort
to reach the younger generations we have also created the Gratitude
Camp, www.GratitudeCamp.com, that brings this learning to kids ages 5-14.
The wonder of what we now simply refer to as "Gratitude" is that all
the people were here, ready and able to help in this endeavor. When a
certain skill set was needed, it was already here. When we conceived
ideas for supporting websites the names were available. Our Community
is growing and expanding. The possibilities, events and connections have
us all excited, enthusiastic, humbled and Grateful to connect with you.
Enjoy the site and check back here from time to time – our Story has
just begun and we will keep our friends informed here and on the other
Gratitude sites as well as on Facebook. Stay tuned!
In Gratitude,
Jo Englesson